Life Update

Hey guys, it’s been a minute.

A lot has happened this past week which left me feeling incredibly overwhelmed. Firstly, I got a job I didn’t think I was going to get. I’m due for training this upcoming week. This is my first ever job and I’m pretty excited. I’ve pretty much spent the weekend trying to put everything into perspective, planning out my studies so I can prep for my finals, meal prepping… Essentially just preparing for my first work week.

I’m always low-key stressed out about how I’ll manage to study effectively and not allow work to get in between my studies. On the bright side though I’m super happy to have the privilege to say “I have a job”, during these trying times. Also, I get to help my mum out around the house that is also a massive plus.

Reading goal update:

Most of you guys know my reading goal for this month is 20, I honestly don’t know what I was thinking. Not to say it’s impossible, it is possible if you don’t have anything demanding to do. Nonetheless I’m on my 5th book and 20 looks far away so I might carry it into the next month.

MOTIVATIONAL TUESDAY

“Write down the vision; make it plain on tablets, so he may run who reads it”-Habakkuk 2:2

I do hope all of guys are doing well. I just came to pop up and shower you guys with some love. I hope you are having a great day and kicking ass. YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL. YOU ARE WORTHY. YOU DESERVE TO BE HERE. I LOVE YOU. HAVE A GREAT DAY, IF IT’S ENDING I HOPE YOU HAD A GOOD ONE. LOVE AND LIGHT.

Carpe Diem

New month. New possibilities. New intentions.

Mantras: “live to love another day” “Make shit happen”

Intention: I promise to remember my purpose when in doubt and I promise to forgive myself.

Goals:

  • Blog twice a week or more.
  • Prep for exams.
  • Read 20 novels.

Hey guys, I recently did my monthly spread on my journal it doesn’t look that good (I just got to bullet journaling) so I might share it next month with you guys. I tried to make my goals realistic and reachable.

I’m itching to know what your September spread looks like, it would really help me. Please do share your goals and intentions for this month. Carpe Diem💞

BLOG SHOUT-OUTS🎉

https://nataliepudding.wordpress.com/

http://banterrepublic.blog

Monday Blues

Hey guys. Happy Monday.

Last night I planned everything to the T from the outfit to all the money I’ll use, EVERYTHING. I set my alarm for 05:00 the next morning, I was going to have the most smooth Monday morning, I planned it.

My alarm rings at 05:00, I wake up switch it off and decide to just nap a bit. I ended up sleeping. When I woke up it was bright outside I check the time and it’s 7:15. I freaked out, jumped out of bed, hopped into the cold shower, left freezing, the outfit I set out didn’t seem warm enough, time to go, I scramble for my bag and head out. My mom serves me a lecture for breakfast. I run to catch the bus. My Monday didn’t go as planned, I’m freezing, I haven’t eaten, I don’t have any lunch, can’t even buy anything because I have no extra money because I wasn’t suppose to forget my lunch.

Anyway. The wind still blows. The bus driver still smiles at me. The old lady still calls me her long lost daughter. I still manage to smile. I’m blessed to have woken up today.

How is your Monday going?

AZA HOLMES

“Just how his tongue has its own particular microbiome and once he sticks his tongue in my mouth his bacteria become part of my microbiome for literally the rest of my life. Like, his tongue will always be in my mouth until I’m dead, and then his tongue microbes will eat my corpse.”

Synchronicity, overthinking and John Green

I think there is a dotted line between synchronicity and just simply overthinking but the other half of my brain is convincing me that they might be inherently linked.

SYNCHRONICITY: the simultaneous occurrence of events which appear significantly related but have no discernible casual connection.

OVERTHINKING: think about something too much or for too long.

I realised this about two nights ago when I was attempting to explain to my sister how John Green has been showing up in my life, throughout the whole conversation she was heavily sighing and thought me to be exaggerating the whole thing BUT let me hear what you guys think, so….

The first time John Green showed up in my life was through The Fault In Our Stars which is my favorite novel (I don’t cringe whenever I say that, neither do I feel like the worst bibliophile, it’s THAT deep), The Fault In Our Stars is the love of my life but I refuse to bore you guys with the gory details of the amount of love I have for the book. Just know that I’ll name my first daughter Hazel Grace. The second time was when I got Turtles All The Way Down on my birthday on the 28th of Jan, after that I got myself Looking For Alaska, unintentionally and very much oblivious to the fact that it was the second time I’m getting a John Green novel on my birthday.

So I have a review site, it’s my new baby. I just wanted to dip my toes in the review world a bit, it has been a joy ride. I was rereading Turtles All The Way Down so I could review it for “John Green week”, a friend comes along and we chat for a bit and he says I should read Looking For Alaska because he just watched the film and he’s itching to get his hands on the novel. Which I find to be crazy because here I am rereading a “John Green” novel and he came and told me about yet another book by Green.

I don’t know, it all sounds crazy right now as I’m writing this but this has to mean something, right?

BLOG SHOUT OUTS🎉:

http://calmwildness.co.ke/thats/me

http://changetherapy.org.uk

The Hypocrisy Of Women’s Month

I think we sort of undermine the amount of violence and abuse women experience during this month, which ironically is suppose to celebrate women. Studies have shown that the current messaging that exists during women’s month (women being appreciated), this manages to aggravate men and make them feel the need to assert their dominance and masculinity. How fragile that must be.

A woman is murdered every three hours and 51 percent of South African women have experienced violence at the hands of someone with whom they are in a relationship. The femicide and rape stats tend to spike up during this month every year.

Men feel entitled to our bodies, they sexualise us, make us hate our god given bodies and they definitely know NOT to rape, Not to abuse, I feel there is no need for us to keep reminding them, they know that what they are doing is wrong. The sad part is, we can post, create hashtags and women still get killed, they still get raped. This is the pandemic we are facing, have been facing for years.

A man touched me without my consent a few days ago, my worst nightmare became true. I just stood there my knees waiting for instructions, they have not been told to fight back. I resented my body because it was not my body, it was a language I didn’t speak in a country I did not know. Funny how quick that happened. I burned the dress I wore that day and kept all memory of him and his hands in the basement of my mind. I guess I’m lucky to not have died.

To My Next Love:

Hi love, I’m Angel. This is for you.

  • Understand I’m still fragile so handle me with caution.
  • I have crippling cynophobia, I pray you don’t own a dog.
  • Hope you will be comfortable with our kids being named after fictional characters.
  • Pay attention to know which parts of my body are storing pain.
  • Hopefully you appreciate dry wit and sarcasm, I have loads.
  • Can you love me in a way we can both agree upon.
  • Tiramisu keeps me alive.
  • Only use words I recognize.
  • If ever you make me cry be soft enough to make them stop.
  • I’ve been told I have a tendency to love hard so I’ll try to love you gently.
  • I’ve spent a lifetime looking for you.
  • I hope I’m the best love you’ve ever known.
  • Memorize how many muscles it takes to make a smile and make sure my face isn’t missing any.

Life Behind A Mask

What are you smiling about behind your mask?

Getting ready in the morning now constitutes of me deciding on which mask I want to wear. I’m also aware that you guys are fed up with reading about anything “pandemic related”, believe me I’m tired as well but please power through this one, it’s short.

Prior miss Rona hitting I would usually take an hour just getting ready, mind you I don’t wear make up. Not only that but throughout the day I’m staring at any mirror I come across on the way, the day would pretty much end with me feeling ugly and hating the outfit I took 1 hour deciding upon. Now though, I honestly just wear whatever I want and get on with my day whilst having a good conversation about the weather with myself behind my mask. WHAT A TIME TO BE ALIVE!!!!

Not to say that wearing a mask magically got rid of all my self loathing but what this time forced me to confront is myself and all my toxic traits. I’ll forever be proud of all the minimal changes I undergo. Looking at myself in the mirror and smiling, not finding my forehead to be the worst feature on my face, calling myself beautiful, at this point I might be on the verge of shedding a few tears because wow it has been a lot, it also has been the mot beautiful thing I’ve got to witness.

ANYWAY. Enough about that. are you having a good day? have you noticed how beautiful your eyes are?  I hope so.

        

Slump update and blog shout outs

Slump update: Things are starting to look up, I’m gradually going back to normal. All I can say is, change your routine, change your scenery, have more fun, do all the things you love, rest when necessary and lastly enjoy all the ebbs and flows of this life.

Blog shout outs: I will be sending a shout out to two bloggers in every post, just so we can all grow and support one another in this community.

MY FIRST BLOG SHOUT OUTS GOES TO MY QUEENS ELLE AND OLIVIA, IF YOU WANT GREAT CONSISTENT CONTENT GIVE THEM A FOLLOW AND  BE SURE TO SHOWER THEM WITH LOVE.

THANK YOU FOR SHARING THIS SPACE WITH ME.